My Story - Or Why I Do What I Do

I often joke with people saying that as a child, I had three strikes against popularity. I was smart, wore glasses and was fat. A sure-fire recipe for being the last one picked in gym class.

Turns out being "smart" is an advantage, especially later in school. Wearing glasses is remedied by getting contacts. The being fat, however, is a lot more challenging to overcome.

I can easily answer why I was heavy. Mix genetics with unlimited access to sweets and junk food and weight gain becomes inevitable. My mom baked often - cookies, cake, donuts. And, we always had candy, ice cream, chocolate and soda in the house. I would eat 2 or 3 pieces of cake per day followed by ice cream for dessert at night. Meals were nearly always meat and potatoes. No one prevented me from taking a second or third serving. Without limits or guidance, I was overweight by age 5. I continued to gain weight through most of my childhood.

The first time I recall dieting I was 11. 11 seems pretty young but it's not given that 50% of 9-year-old girls and 80% of 10-year-old girls have dieted. My age 11 diet consisted of learning about calories and counting them. I recall adding exercise in there, too. I would watch an exercise program with Joanie Greggains at 6am and follow the routine. I would repeat the routine later in the afternoon. The food monitoring plus the exercise worked!! Except, society had taught me that a diet was temporary and when I slimmed down I could eat whatever I wanted again and be a couch potato. No surprise - the weight returned.

During my teens, I tried diet pills, shakes, programs and special foods all to get a quick result. They never worked. I would reduce my calories and measure foods periodically or go through phases of exercise but I didn't do anything consistently.

The last time I gained a significant amount of weight was after I started dating my husband. Blissfully in love and blinded by happiness, I missed the signs that I did not possess the metabolism of a young male. He ate chips; I ate chips. He ate cookies; I ate cookies. He had big portions; I had big portions. He was active; I laughed at running. Somehow, 30 pounds just jumped onto my frame without my permission or knowledge.

My turning point occurred at the start of college. I had always wanted to lift weights. I thought muscles were cool. So, I hit the campus gym with my husband so he could teach me what I needed to know. I appeared out of the women's locker room in tears!! I had just found the 30 pounds. My husband, being the calm, soothing person he is, reminded me if I didn't like the numbers, I was in the right place to change it. Right, yes, I am at a gym!!

I began by lifting weights. Later in the year, I added racquetball. The following year I finally approached the cardio equipment. I monitored my diet and choose foods as best I could in a college cafeteria. I learned portion sizes. I learned how to make old favorite foods lighter and healthier. Slowly but steadily the weight came off. 4 years later, I had lost the 30 pounds and had a new look.

I managed to not regain the weight by weighing myself consistently and making adjustments in eating and exercise when I needed to lose a few pounds. In other words, I dieted when I needed a result then went back to some old habits when I was "thin."

Around 5 years ago, after working with eating disorder clients for a few years and learning more about nutrition and exercise, a lightning bolt hit me. For a permanent result, I needed to change my lifestyle! I began to realize little things like eating a spinach salad was always good for me even when I was not trying to lose weight. And, whole grains made me feel better than white flour foods. Water energized me more than soda. Fruits were tasty and could satisfy a sweet craving. I could ask my body to do things I thought were impossible like running and, amazingly, my body would respond! Again, I would love to say that I pulled together all these pieces and put them in place immediately. But, no, I did one thing at a time, each action building on the action before.

My actions continue to build on each other. I know there is no quick fix to weight loss. I know that I have to change my habits and thus my lifestyle to successfully lose weight. That means I work on this everyday of my life. I keep challenging my body physically. I must continue to challenge my mind, too. I start to think I don't have to be aware of portion sizes. Or, I say that missing a workout is not a big deal. When I feel uncertain about myself, I still see the fat kid from so many years ago. I have to remind myself I am strong, confident and healthy.

That is why I do what I do. I understand the mental, emotional and physical struggle we go through when we are overweight. Not only does our body need to change but our habits, beliefs and self-mage must change, too. We have to learn to cope with life without food as an emotional crutch. I believe we have to address our whole selves in the weight loss process or we will put ourselves in a perpetual weight gain and weight loss cycle that takes up far too much of our time and energy.